Too many frazzled parents of teenagers are mystified by the startling metamorphosis that has suddenly occurred out of nowhere …
“She was such a happy child … He was so easy and loving … She used to be so kind-hearted and thoughtful …”
Desperate for answers, parents often get a bad case of the “should haves”…
“I should have been stricter … I should have spent more time at home … I should have acted and seen this coming …”
Or fault their DNA …
“He’s just like his father/mother … My family were all angry screamers … Depression and anxiety runs in the family …”
Adolescence is a time of excitement. New challenges, changes, experiences, and mountains to climb! But it is also a scary time frequently accompanied by what therapists often call a “grieving-period.” As teenagers enter this phase they often engage in disquieting internal meditations. Meditations often symbolic of their loss of the innocence as they leave their previously “safe” childhood frameworks.
Safety for them, their loved ones, and their friends suddenly disappears. Enter the reality of loss and unexpected trauma that can send teens into a spiral. This unrest however is oddly necessary! Teenagers cannot forge a cohesive sense of self without sifting through these insecurities and uncertainties — to ultimately figure out who they are. Difficult but important.
Source: Excerpt from Dr. Sean Grover, LCSW https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201708/three-signs-your-teen-needs-therapy. Psychology Today, 2017
| Teens |
- Stay connected and loving with your growing kids as they become teens. But still set and stick to healthy boundaries to hold back the school, social, and online tech world that brings it all right into your home (95% of today’s teens have a cell phone. Up from 34% in 2012. Common Sense Media, 2020).
- What does it mean to negotiate and coach that safely with them? Safely but letting them learn and explore and love being … a kid!